Instead of Plans. | Thoughts From a Year Ago.

I'm not talking to you

Because I don't want you to get used to it.

(I open my umbrella to find

Remnants of yesterday's afternoons

Tracing the spines with a finger)

And think that if I can go back

To take all the wrong things I've said

And collect them all in a basket,

I'll eat them all up

Before you can get there

But then I'll end up not talking to you at all

And I bet then you'd really find me strange.

Take your time

Watch me close the door

Sit by the window and try to find

That girl who wouldn't look twice at you

Except you won't have a reason to.

_________________

Was browsing through my old stuff and found something that still makes sense to me!

Caffeine Vision.

All it took was a cup,

And everything went horribly mad

Everything was a mash of colors

Everything I heard meant something else

But I didn't care, I took everything in

Because that's what caffeine does.

'What does texting look like?'

Right now it's looking like an airstrip

Where words are made of little

Letter shaped planes

Finding their way to you.

Then the room went swirling

Swirling along to Mina

Down into the dark called sleep,

And I dreamt of the coffee in my veins.

Prestidigital.

I watch my message leave the dock,

Imagine the invisible wings

That traverse in an instant

From my screen to yours.

I take the distance of that moment

And put it between my fingers.

But it never gets any smaller

And leaves me emptier than before.

What the world chooses to show us

Gets better and better.

Even as I suspect,

I can never look away.

Manchurian Squid.

A globulous eye looked up at me

Glazed and half-frozen

Pleasant dreams, it seemed to say

Darkly. I swear I saw it move.

Over-Obsessing.

I want to keep writing.

I want to keep writing until I'm out of words

Until my blood runs and my mouth implodes with silence.

I want to keep writing

I want to keep writing until I've translated the seas into pages

Of worlds that swallow people up

And swell with meaning and ebb with the tides.

The moon be contained on a shelf

Heavy words rendered weightless

Pulling you in,

Enchanting.

I want to keep writing.

A section of my wall about the intricacies of your lashes.

Under my bed you'd find tomes about the moment I met you.

I want to keep writing

So I don't have to think.

Mental Graffiti.

Broken things have a way of catching me.

A breath, a beat always escape.

I can never write as smoothly as you.

Words flowing like I can't even explain.

Clutching at my heart until I feel my breath flicker.

You make me want to look at the sky forever,

Where the world is far more than what I see

Where there might be a chance you actually remember me

And where I can forget myself, even though I don't know who that is.

Strangeness is beyond my grasp.

I meld into the shapes of people I hardly understand.

My thoughts stumble into one another

Creating landscapes I have never seen.

But in all of them, there is always you.